Grace's Memorial Service (Jackson, MS), Friday, May 13, 2011
Latest update: 4:45 PM
8:35 AM - I apologize for not bringing you updates over the last two days. As you can imagine, we all here have been a bit preoccupied, a bit frazzled, and quite overcome by Grace's passing.
Yesterday, we had a (first) Memorial Service for Grace, here in Jackson.
We felt we needed to hurry this service because Bill is still here, with his friend Debbie, and they are anxious to get back to Missouri where Debbie has a doctor's appointment. So we tried to have this service as soon as we decently could.
We are planning another service to be held in Fort Lauderdale in a month or so. More details on that in a bit.
First, let me tell you about yesterday's service.
As most of you know, Grace has been living with Jan and me for the last nearly eight years. We have been mightily blessed to have had her with us for this time.
Because of her spinal stenosis and her hip problems, Grace wasn't highly mobile, and consequently she spent much of her time either on her computer (emailing friends and family, playing games, shopping, managing her finances) or reading books.
When she was in the nursing home (about the time I started this blog), I was bringing her large print books from the library. They are much easier to read than standard-sized-print books, especially for older eyes like mine. I decided to simply start with the A's and bring her a batch of books that I thought she hadn't read yet. I didn't bring all of them, but I did bring the ones that looked like she might like them.
By the time she went into the hospital this last time, we had progressed through most of the large print library books down through the authors whose last name starts with F.
One of the things we did on Thursday was turn in Grace's last batch of library books.
Another thing we did on Thursday was to go to the church to set up yesterday's service.
We also did some planning for the reception after the service.
(Again, please forgive me if this posting sounds a bit disjointed -- that's kinda how I'm still feeling right now.)
Yesterday, we got all dressed up and arrived at the church just before 10AM, because at 10 we were having the "Visitation," which turns out to be the time when people can come earlier than the service just to talk with us and offer their condolences.
The church's Funeral Guild had set out refreshments on the table in the lobby and they'd also made coffee; the pastoral care office had printed up the bulletins for the service, and the pastor went into the sancuary with me and went over the procedures, who was to go where and when.
It didn't take long, but it was reassuring to know all we were supposed to do.
Remember just above, where I told you Grace spent most of her time indoors? That is true, but in spite of that, Grace still managed to make several dozen very good friends in the area.
One of our neighbors regularly invited Grace to go with her to her own church daytime activities, such as sorting books in their library, circle meetings, luncheons, etc. She also took Grace to hairdresser appointments.
ASIDE: Back when Bert (our dog) was alive, whenever we were taking him to the groomers for a bath, Grace would refer to it as us taking Bert to the beauty parlor. So I would tease Grace back by referring to her trips to the beauty parlor as taking her to the Groomers. She would always laugh at that.
Besides the circle of new friends she made through that outlet, she also made another circle of friends in the neighborhood bunko party crowd.
Bunko (as I understand it) is a card game that involves 12 people. They get together periodically at someone's house, play cards, have refreshments, and mostly just have a great time talking with each other. Every once in a while, one of the regulars can't make it to bunko night - being out of town, relatives visiting, or some such - so they have to call in a substitute. A couple of years ago, they began calling Grace as a substitute, and she enjoyed those outings very much. She developed another circle of friends with the bunko crowd.
10:00 AM - Just got interrupted. Bill wanted to hit the road for home, and we had to load up the riding mower before he could go. We got that done and Bill and Debbie are now on their way back to Missouri. Rocky (Bill's dog) was extremely eager to get going, and he let everyone know. I can continue writing now.
In addition to Grace's circle of friends with the church ladies and the bunko crowd, Grace had also begun attending a Sunday School class at our church, and she was enjoying the class and the people in it very much.
Grace was also a founding donor for my community band, and she had made dozens of friends in the band as well.
Consequently, we actually had quite a good turnout for Grace's memorial service yesterday. We had quite a number of people from the band, as well as from the neighborhood, the church ladies group, the bunko group, and the Sunday School.
The church where Jan and I are members now is quite large, with seating for well over 2,000 people, so the number of attendees looked rather small inside the big sanctuary, but they were all good friends of Grace, and we were warmed to see how many friends she had made locally, despite being technically a "shut-in."
Here's the order of the service, with some comments.
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CONGREGATIONAL HYMN -- We sang three verses of "Be Thou My Vision," one of Grace's favorite hymns. The singing was led by Greg Bowlus, Senior Pastor of Worship Arts at the church.
PRAYER -- The prayers were led by Pastor John Paul Clark, senior associate pastor at the church.
NEW TESTAMENT READING -- John Paul read Revelation 21:1-6. It goes like this:
Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea.
I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.
‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life.
I thought this was a particularly appropriate passage.
CONGREGATIONAL HYMN -- We sang three verses of another of Grace's favorite hymns, "To God Be The Glory."
WITNESS -- At this point, I read the eulogy I had written for Grace. I won't put that eulogy here because I intend to read it again at the service in Fort Lauderdale. After that, I'll post the eulogy here on the blog.
MUSIC MINISTRY -- At this time Chad and Shelly (our kids, Grace's grandkids) and their spouses, Sarah and Daniel, came up to sing as a quartet, "How Great Thou Art," Grace's all-time favorite hymn.
Here's a video clip of about a minute and a half of their singing.
OLD TESTAMENT READING -- John Paul read the 23rd Psalm.
HOMILY -- John Paul explained to me that this meant "sermon." He based in on the 23rd Psalm. He also promised to keep it under an hour. (Yes, that was a joke.) And he did.
PRAYER -- The closing prayer by John Paul
BENEDICTION -- A calming standard Methodist benediction.
RECESSIONAL -- Becky Miller played "Victory In Jesus" as we left the sanctuary.
All in all, it was a very touching, very appropriate service.
4:45 PM - After the service, we were gathering things to leave - we wanted to save the printed bulletins to send to family members who were unable to attend this service, and when we went back into the "Parlor," which is a very nice small room off the sanctuary, we were stunned to see what seemed like a dozen bouquets and plants! There was one arrangement nearly seven feet tall, from the band's board. there were several others from a number of other consoling friends.
It was overwhelming.
Of course, we couldn't take all of them home, so we selected the few we could take, and asked the church to either use the remaining arrangements and plants there at the church, or deliver them to hospitals and nursing homes as they saw fit.
Then we came home and prepared for the "little reception" after the service.
It turned out to be a very nice gathering, with all the family here (Jan and me, Chad and Sarah and Katie, Daniel and Shelley and Naomi, Bill and Debbie), as well as about a dozen of our (and Grace's) closest friends.
We had plenty of good food, which I would describe for you here except I'm not sure it really matters. The best part of it, of course, was the gathering of friends and family, being able to simply "hang out" with them for a while, and share our memories and tributes.
Besides acutely missing Grace, the only thing that marred the gathering were the friends and family who could not be there.
Everyone must have had a good sixth sense, because within ten minutes of the time I was starting to feel really tired, all the guests were gone. And I didn't say a thing. No, really, I didn't.
It was a beautiful day, and a beautiful tribute to Grace.
I'll be back to tell you more soon, when I can.
Take care, all.
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